Clarity

Amazon

Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area: The greatest of rivers begins with a small trickle from a glacier high in the Andes, 150 kilometers from the Pacific Ocean. This thin stream feeds into Lake Ninococha, which itself pours out as the Maranon River. After coursing through 1000 kilometers of the Andes, the Maranon descends into the vast rain forest of equatorial South America. Brazil covers most of this region. As it continues on, traveling 4000 kilometers to the east, it is joined by more than 1000 other tributaries to form the Amazon, which is regarded as being the mightiest of all rivers. Into the Atlantic Ocean it flows, carrying 100,000 tons of silt each hour and delivering enough water to fill 60 Olympic swimming pools each second. Answer: - Being Concise - Something else that is not really needed is shown in the following example: As it continues on, traveling 4000 kilometers to the east, it is joined by more than 1000 other tributaries to form the Amazon, which is regarded as being the mightiest of all rivers. It is not necessary to include the word being after the phrase regarded as. It is more concise and just as clear to write: As it continues on, traveling 4000 kilometers to the east, it is joined by more than 1000 other tributaries to form the Amazon, which is regarded as the mightiest of all rivers. The careful proofreader will also note that our opening paragraph began with a superlative claim about the Amazon. (The greatest of rivers...) Thus, we can be even more concise: As it continues on, traveling 4000 kilometers to the east, it is joined by more than 1000 other tributaries to form the mighty Amazon River.

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