Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area:
The morning was so somber. Before dawn, Amitabh and Chandan carried the bamboo stretcher through the sleepy streets of Varanasi, down to the river. Amitabh's face showed more pain than Chandan.
They will arrive at the burning ghats of Manikarnika as the sun rose above the horizon. Wrapped in red silk, their load was placed next to a neat pile of sandalwood. Workers dipped the body in the holy Ganges, then it was set on a pyre. For three hours Amitabh and Chandan watched the burning. Amitabh felt more affection for his grandmother than Chandan. As blue smoke rose above the ghats, Amitabh would pray that the soul of his grandmother would soon reach paradise.
Answer:
The final inadequate comparison in our opening paragraph is one that is essentially complete and consistent:
Amitabh felt more affection for his grandmother than Chandan.
Unfortunately, this comparison is not clear. Is the author comparing Amitabh's affection for his grandmother with his affection for his brother Chandan? Or is it a comparison between Amitabh and Chandan in their affection for their grandmother? Adding a few words to the sentence, we can make it clear:
Amitabh felt more affection for his grandmother than Chandan did.
Write Guru
