Clarity

Mississippi

Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area: Bob and Evelyn Louque chose to spend their summer vacation on the Mississippi because it represents the biggest river in North America. From Lake Itasca in northeast Minnesota, they paddled their canoe all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico, a 3,700 mile journey. Along the way they employed their wits to survive, camping on the shore and fishing for food. Safety was an important concern. Evelyn often referred to her river map that illustrated danger areas. After many days and nights on the river, they spent a relaxing evening in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Several days later they arrived at the Head of the Passes, where the river breaks out into bayou channels in the Mississippi delta. They were tired but sad that their journey would soon terminate. Answer: - Be Clear With Your Verbs - Another weighty verb appears in our opening paragraphs: Safety was an important concern. Evelyn often referred to her river map that illustrated danger areas. To avoid associations with alternate meanings for illustrate, such as clarify or decorate, we can use the lean verb show: Safety was an important concern. Evelyn often referred to her river map that showed danger areas. More examples follow: Their canoe was provided with two life preservers. Their canoe had two life preservers. Her map presents information on camping sites. Her map shows information on camping sites. Using his flare gun, Bob supplied a warning message to the curious alligators. Using his flare gun, Bob sent a warning message to the curious alligators.

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