Style

Yangtze

Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area: Baosheng is exhausted as he pulls the boat with the other five trackers on the hazardous Emperor Path tethered to their junk along a narrow path carved out of the vertical rock in the ravines slowly up the Yangtze river. He is content because the pagoda above provides protection and has a great view of the landscape. It controls the feng-shui [fung shway]. The feng-shui is the "wind-water" of that place on the river. The pagoda balances the two influences of the feng-shui. One influence is the female, or yin. The other influence is the male, or yang. Because the holy pagoda provides this heavenly balance, Baosheng is blessed with golden karma and is serenely confident that he is safe. So, despite the difficult work, Baosheng is content after noticing the pagoda on the cliff. Answer: We should be careful with long sentences, those with 20 or more words. Besides checking grammar and punctuation, we must critically examine them to make sure readers will understand what we meant to tell them. - Style: Relax - Suggestion: Try not to say everything at once. Packing too much into a long sentence can lose the reader. Baosheng is exhausted as he pulls the boat with the other five trackers on the hazardous Emperor Path tethered to their junk along a narrow path carved out of the vertical rock in the ravines slowly up the Yangtze river. Because the boat is not on the path, which is not tethered to their junk, we should take our time to make things clear: Baosheng is exhausted as he and five other trackers pull the boat up the Yangtze river. Tethered to their junk, they slowly move along the hazardous Emperor Path, a narrow trail carved out of the vertical rock in the ravines.

Write Guru